🙃 “just smile and everything will be ok”... they said 🙃

Is is bad that I smile and tell myself that everything will be ok... or I smile because it’s better then explaining what’s wrong? Every time I smile and it’s not a real one I feel like I wanna scream... and I still think about hurting myself because I just wanna feel something.... I just want to feel something.... and pain is the only thing I feel.... because you can’t feel empty... you can describe it tho..... and if someone says they care then up they don’t keep their promise... just remember that when someone “cares” it’s known as a promise or an action that stays as a promise... and 60% of the time that promise gets broken.... I know that I can be fixed... but... every time I am fixed the same thing happens.... so.... i hide in a hoodie and pretend like I’m not hurt.... verbally... physically.... and mentally.... the only people who are keeping me alive are the people who have actually shown me that they care... and they are also the people who try and help me with depression, anxiety, and my life.... and also.... those people don’t ignore me... they don’t treat me like fucking shit.... they don’t break their promises...
And I barley eat anymore, I don’t sleep, and I can’t stop wanting to scream because of anxiety..... I’ve been permanently scared.... literally.... I’ve seen and felt things that people normally don’t feel... but... the people who are helping me with all the shit that I’ve been going through, the people I talk to almost everyday, the people who don’t break their promises are the people who I actually trust, and idfc if I only know you from behind a screen, but if you try and help just know that if you ever need to talk I’m always here to talk, and that goes for everyone.. I’ve thought about giving up.... I have.... I’ve gotten a knife and I’ve made myself bleed... well... I felt something... pain...and the only reason why I didn’t give up was because of the people who care about me, the people who have been there for me... people like Cheyanne, Erika, Ellie, Jesse, Kylie, Ariana, Lainy, Lilly ( 3 Lilly’s ), Adrianna, and a lot more people, on a screen or irl.... thank you... to the people who have helped me...

🖤Broken/dark fox 82🖤

ok”...