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To be honest with you, this is one of the reasons why when you're in a relationship with somebody, why you sort of feel some resentment and you feel the pressure to be feminine. As a result, you suppress your shadow side and as a result, it comes out in passive-aggressive ways. You can't really run away from it because it'll always be inside of you. Some women don't like the shadow side because it creates insecurity within themselves so what you got to do is to learn to embrace that side because everyone has it. We hide our shadow because it's not socially acceptable and as a result, a lot of people hide it so much that they think they don't have it. What tends to happen is that that shadow side will then begin to control them because it'll leak out--it's energy so it's gonna come out some way. When you embrace it, people will sense your freedom and that fascination will make you stand out from other people.
Here are steps on how to embrace your shadow side and I could promise you, when you embrace it, you will stand out as long as you keep femininity, you will stand out.
In order to use your shadow, first is you got to see your shadow. It's easy to look at your shadows through others. The next thing is to notice how people react to you, Notice the things that people have told you that you didn't agree with. Get feedback from other people and don't get defensive. Even if you get feedback from other people and you get defensive, that's your shadow right there. Observe that shadow and notice where it comes from.
You got to realize that your shadow isn't evil and that beast is creative energy. When you hate something, you got to realize that you're looking at yourself--it's almost like your shadow's way of showing itself to you. Now, if you're very unconscious, you're gonna think that that's them that's is you so notice the hidden resentment towards men. Notice what hidden fantasies you have and notice what annoys you about men because most likely, that's in you. You may say that it's not in you but just try to see it. Just try because at first you don't see it. You got to keep asking yourself how it's in you and eventually you'll find it.
When you find it then you'll be able to redirect it for creative energy. Once you uncover that shadow side, creativity will flow because you can use it to express yourself.
Also, question whether you have what you hate in others and dig deeply for those answers. Look for indirect signs of your shadow through one-sided traits. Assume that it's inside of you and look for more signs of that. I'm not talking about self-criticizing yourself, being evil or even talking down to yourself, it's more of like a self-exploration.
Remember when you were young and you were particularly cruel and mean, these moments you could have control--that was your shadow. Don't assume that they were just moments of anger, they were a reflection of your shadow as opposed to repressed forces that come as a result of growing up. Those were who you were. Examine the earlier versions of yourself.
When you do this, slowly but surely, you're gonna be somebody who's really unique--when I mean unique, it's who's really yourself. Everyone is unique but everyone for some reason acts the same because they're trying to conform.
Once you uncovered all of the different sides of the shadow, what most people usually do is that they reject their shadows. They're ashamed of it and they're ashamed of all the evil desires they have and all of the selfish things that they've done. What you got to do is embrace your shadow, that's how you integrate it into your personality. Rather than feeling ashamed and weird, embrace it and link it up to your personality. Find a way how to link up your dark sides to your personality.
You can't deny the fact that some things will other you and that some things will get to you, don't your ego because you're a human being, things will get to you so embrace it and find a way how to utilize it. By embracing your shadow, people will automatically be drawn to you because you're gonna remind them of their own suppression. You're gonna remind them of what they could possibly be if they embrace themselves.
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