Narcissists use our fears and insecurities to manipulate and control us. They initially find out about our fears by engaging us in conversation where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We share how we feel. We share our fears and we allow our insecurities to be known. Although this is part of creating intimacy with another human being, our attempts at true intimacy backfire with a narcissist. He or she will draw us out, get us to talk about ourselves and then, at a later time, use what we have shared to gain power and control in the relationship.
We initially believe we are building a deep, intimate connection with the narcissist, but later realize we have built a nightmare.
It is the nature of the narcissist to use our fears and insecurities against us, so the only way to safeguard ourselves against this kind of violation is to “know ourselves” and “trust ourselves” to the point that we take the ammunition away from the narcissists in our life.
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